How to extract keys from a pit toilet
If you spend any time on trails in parks and forests you will inevitably encounter the dreaded pit toilet. For those who are unfamiliar with this delightful form of waste removal I give a brief description. Since there is no sewage service available in remote places in the woods, a substitute bathroom must be created without t
he assitance of running water or flush toilets.
he assitance of running water or flush toilets. Enter the pit toilet. Yes, it is as glamorous as it sounds. You take a buried concrete bunker filled with some chemical slush, add a throne on which to sit at the top and build a shelter around the seat and voila... a pit toilet! You do your business and it falls eight feet or so into the bunker and once it gets full, some poor shlub has to pump out the waste. The fun part for the user, especially for a guy, is that you get to see all the other contributions to the pile when you are standing above the pit and doing your business. Just hope there is no strong updraft.
Enter my friend Andy Crow. Our adventure this day was biking the Virginia Creeper bike trail and we had just shuttled back up the mountain after completing a very cold and wet finish to our ride. Along for the ride was my step-son, Trooper, and Andy’s two boys, Alex and Ethan, aka Big Boy and ‘Nator.
Andy went to the pit to change clothes and do his business and accidentally flipped his keys into the abyss. Andy returns t
o the vehicles with the bad news and we proceed, with no success, to use a fishing rod to grab the keys. Understand that this toilet was recently pumped out but there was still
a murky pool of chemical in the bottom which prevented visual contact with the keys. Even with flashlights and our heads hanging over the throne there was no way to see the keys. Ok. Plan B was to ride all the way back home, get another set of keys, and drive back to retrieve his vehicle which would have cost us 2 hours; precious time we did not have.
o the vehicles with the bad news and we proceed, with no success, to use a fishing rod to grab the keys. Understand that this toilet was recently pumped out but there was still a murky pool of chemical in the bottom which prevented visual contact with the keys. Even with flashlights and our heads hanging over the throne there was no way to see the keys. Ok. Plan B was to ride all the way back home, get another set of keys, and drive back to retrieve his vehicle which would have cost us 2 hours; precious time we did not have. I hatched plan C while thinking of middle school science fair projects and my obsession with magnets. Where would we find a magnet? The speakers in the truck. Speakers have HUGE magnets. I proceeded to disassemble the rear door on my truck and removed the 6x9 speaker. We tied rope to the speaker and went fishing. We dropped the rig into the slosh and swung back and forth hoping to hit gold. In not too many moments we h
it paydirt and the somewhat discolored keyring came up out of the abyss. The speaker went into the trash, Andy went back to Kingsport and we headed back to Columbia.
it paydirt and the somewhat discolored keyring came up out of the abyss. The speaker went into the trash, Andy went back to Kingsport and we headed back to Columbia. A fine story
to end the day!